There's this infamous sentence, most often uttered when gracefully ending a relationship, "It's not you, it's me.”
Thing is, that isn't always the case.
Take what happens when I’m giving an online Feldenkrais lesson.
The session often follows a curriculum that is neither a rigid procedure I must strictly adhere to nor a script that I am required to recite verbatim. The structure of a lesson is an outline, a kind of overall itinerary. I assess a student’s progress as it unfolds, taking note of roadblocks, detours, and deadends. The challenges that we run into indicate blind spots and mismappings, revealing how this lesson fits what a student needs to learn. Depending on what I observe, I restate, refine, or revise the instructions accordingly. When a student is lost or struggling, rather than giving easy answers or issuing injunctions, I use the lesson to help them find their own way.
This is the heart of Moshe’s method: that you can help yourself. Your body is made to move with ease and power. And your brain is built for learning how to make that possibility a reality.
All that is well and good, but it doesn’t change that communicating over the internet means we are apart. While my words, sounds, and how I express them, along with the faces, gestures, and motions I make and the ways I make them, may reach you, my touch does not.
Whatever happens in a lesson, the student does it.
At the end of a group class or an individual session, when someone says how good they feel, how they found a way to move that doesn’t hurt — or can do something that was not possible less than an hour ago, or tells me what a good teacher I am, I smile, look eye to eye, and say, “It’s not me. It’s you.”
Your thoughts?
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Responses:
Larry Goldfarb -December 18, 2021
Yes, indeed . . . on both counts. Thank you!
Larry Goldfarb -December 18, 2021
Thank you! And, yes, that sounds like something I would say! I appreciate you reminding me of it.
Larry Goldfarb -December 18, 2021
Thank you for saying so! As it happens, when I said it spontaneously after class a couple of weeks ago, I thought, "Hmmm . . . I should write a blog about this!" ;-)
Aliza Stewart -December 18, 2021
Beautifully said!
Larry Goldfarb -December 16, 2021
Thanks, Dan. I'm good . . . at the moment, anyway, I'm doing well and I'm grateful.
katie-hynes-petty -December 17, 2021
What a great reminder and how simply put. It's generosity invokes appreciation for both oneself and the teacher. Bravo for another great post.
dan-rawson -December 18, 2021
Very beautiful! I hope you are well
Larry Goldfarb -December 17, 2021
Hello Alice - Thank you kindly! Your fellow traveler, Larry
beth-scott Scott -December 17, 2021
The Humble Truth. Love it!!! <3
Larry Goldfarb -January 06, 2022
Thank you, Aliza!
chrishkresge -December 17, 2021
What a heartwarming post! "It's not me, it's YOU"...I want to remember that. Thank you, dear Larry. I always love to read your writing and blog posts.❤️
Frania Zins -December 16, 2021
brilliant!!!!! I think it was you who said "you make the journey, I only give you the roadmap."
Larry Goldfarb -December 18, 2021
Hello Chrish - Thanks for letting me know that this post touched your heart! And for your ongoing encouragement and support.
Alice Brydges -December 22, 2021
And that is why we love you, Larry. You are a most amazing....Guide, Teacher, Mentor, Colleague, Friend & Fellow Traveler!
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